forgetfullness is a tool of Satan

I completely forgot that this blog exsisted.  Sad as it may be.  I'm guessing Satan is pretty happy I forgot about it, forgot about counting my blessings and enduring to the end.  I haven't been doing a very good job as of late.  
That is going to change.  I am reminded that recalling my tender mercies will most definitely keep me centered and focused on the most important things.

New post coming tomorrow......

A little catch up

I have failed to be consistent during the month of February.  A lot happened.  We had guests from VA, a baptism and the start of soccer and baseball again.

  Sydney was baptized.  It was a very sweet and spirit inviting experience for me.    There was a moment right after Sydney was baptized and she came into the dressing room with me that I had a moment of pure joy in the Gospel. A moment where I KNEW everything was as it should be.   Her life flashed before me, if she continues on the right path.  It was pure and joyful.  She is destined for great things if she lives her life the correct way.  I love knowing the Gospel is true.  It brings my life great peace.  It was wonderful to watch her father baptize her.  Who knew 6  years ago that this day would come.  I am so proud of the  man he is.  He surprises me everyday.  He told me recently he prays everynight on his own.  For Nick that is huge.  

We got sick at our house this month.  We all got affected.  And we all recovered.   I am grateful we all got well and were not affected more than we were.  

Today I bore my testimony about my keeping this journal.  How my outlook on life has changed because I am looking for the blessings put in my path.  And I was very surprised at the number of people that came up to me after to tell me it was what they needed to hear.  One man cried when he shook my hand.  Another lady told me my overall spirit inspires her.  It was so wonderful to hear that just my humble testimony had affects on people I would never have guessed.  Just as their testimonies affect me.  We are truly all brothers and sisters in the Gospel and it's a wonderful feeling to know we aren't alone.  We are all in this together.  Helping one another.  I love that feeling.  

I have been taking notes in Sunday School and Relief Society the last couple weeks and am blown away by how much more I get out of the lessons.  My understanding of the Gospel has improved.  And I am so blessed to have a better understanding of the scriptures.  

Nick has been asked to speak in Sacrament Meeting next week and asked if I would help him write it.  I know that as I help him write his talk I will gain much insight into Personal Prayer.  I am looking forward to the knowledge I will gain this week.

A big day is coming

I just got off the phone with the member of the High Council that is over the stake baptisms and Sydney is all set for next weekend.    I guess it's real.  This has been a long time coming.  It felt like she would never get here and now that's she's here if feels like no time has passed.   It's like that feeling when you bless your first born.  It's that kind of anticipation.  I am excited and nervous.  when did she get his old.  I am glad she has the desire to be baptized and do what's right.  I hope and pray she continues to feel this way as her life progresses.  Today I am blessed with thankfulness.

Peaceful Decision

Nick and I came to a head today on the money situation.  We decided to put it in the Lord's hands.  We can't do it alone anymore.  It's not possible.  We will do everything in our power to make it work and put the rest to the Lord.  And if we lose our house then we have a very hard lesson to learn.  But I have confidence that we'll figure it out.  Just do our best.  Today I am blessed with peace of mind.  Earlier today I almost had a panic attack about money and after talking with Nick I feel totally at ease.  I feel calm and ok about everything.  And that is a very tender mercy indeed.

Total Turnaround

If yesterday was a spiritual high,  today was the polar opposite.  My kids made me crazy, Mr. G got under my skin.   Boy it's crazy how Satan works.   I was so finished today.  I'm humbled by the blessings I received today to just let me get through the day.    I'm hoping tomorrow is better.

Light Bulb Moment

Today in sunday school I was reminded that the Lord will never give me more than I can handle.  And as I look at my life and as I am prompted by the Lord to better myself, it is my job to do the work to improve.  The Lord will only remind me and show me the way so many times.  I have to make the choice to make the change.  

 

Nick can only tell me so many time how I keep disappointing him with my careless regard for money.  He is getting to the end of  his rope.  And he and the Lord are pushing me to make the right money choices.  It is my job to partake of the blessings our family will recieve when I decide to CTR.  

I know I will be severely challenged.  I have been for many years.  I NEED to do this, my marriage is in danger of failing if I can't get it together.  I don't want to lose my family.  They are my everything.  Brother Knecht hit me with a light bulb moment today as we discussed  D&C 3:1-19.  We discussed how Joseph Smith lost the 116 pages of the Book of Mormon.  He was rebuked by the Lord and that was it.  He never did anything like it again.  I NEED to follow that example.  I have been rebuked, many times, and I need to make the choice to change it.  It is MY choice.  I need to make it and depend on the Lord to help me continue to choose correctly.  And to lean on my husband to help me stay the course.  Use all the faculties I have at my disposal.  

In Relief Society I heard a great quote and I'm going to put it up on my fridge, to help me remember.  

"WELL MANAGED FAMILIES DON'T PAY INTEREST, THEY EARN IT."

I loved that.

I was tested today

Sydney is my trial,  I just know it.  Today something as simple as asking her to clean her room, turned into a multi hour fight.  She pushed every  button she could,  told me she hated me, wished for a new family, etc.  You get the picture.  Yet I held my ground, didn't give in and eventually she did it my way.  Did what I asked her to do.  I am reminded that today the Lord graced me with patience.  I didn't explode, which is unlike me.  I know Sydney will continue to push those buttons, and she and I will grow as a result.  My job as her mother is to guide these situations so that we both get the best out of them.  I love my Miss Diva, even when she goes the way of her mother as a child.  So Mom, I get it, I'm sorry.  And I acknowledge, the Tender Mercies given to me today so that I could deal with this and not lose it.